Now today is a totally different story. I don't know why or how, but I just wasn't feeling it. I could hear the excuses in my head. I don't even think I slept well last night because of jitters. I woke up at 7am as usual and on the way to my BF's, it was so damn foggy. I seriously couldn't see 100 feet in front of me. I was slightly relieved. "Hooray a legitimate excuse!" As I got closer to my destination, the fog was starting to clear up, but it was enough fog to make me nervous. Finally got to the lot, parked my car and sat in it for a good 5 minutes. Here was the battle in my head:
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| I would've made a full on comic, but that takes too long! |
Adventure Liezl: It's fine! I can see things 2 blocks away!
OCL: But what if I'm driving slow in the fog and a car doesn't see me and speeds up?
AL: Look the fog is clearing more!
OCL: But, the ground is slick from the rain all week.
AL: You rode in the same conditions yesterday and it was fine!
OCL: If I'm feeling this nervous, that might be a sign that I shouldn't ride today.
AL: But you're ALWAYS nervous. It's nothing new! And you did great yesterday.
OCL: Yeah but it feels different this time. Like my gut is screaming at me.
AL: Okay fine, you win today with your stupid ass excuses. This conversation went on too long and it made you feel worse. If you would've just shut up, we'd be on the road right now learning.
OCL: *Feelings of guilt and disappointment*
Guess I'm still learning how to distinguish between my usual jitters and gut feelings that tell me NOT to ride because it's unsafe. How can you tell? The end result was that I was angry at myself for "quitting" and went back home majorly bummed. After a few hours of bike research, hanging out at forums, and blogging at the local coffeeshop, I felt better. Tomorrow is a new day and maybe I'll be ready to ride then. Today was just not my day to ride and that is okay.
Written 2/20/11
People often forget how hard it is to learn how to ride a bike. Just getting a license isn't enough. Anyone can get a license. I've seen people as old as my grandma get a license (God rest her soul).
ReplyDeleteThe real challenge starts after you get that license: waking up early in the morning, riding around in some parking lot late at night, asking your roomate to drive behind you while you ride on the streets (thanks ex-roomy!).
Anyways kudos to you for choosing to battle it out. Hope one day AL will kick OCL's butt and soon after that OCL will just be a thing of the past.
Great post by the way and love the visual.
Dude, these jitters will stick with you for quite some time. So far, in my experience, you can always just go as slow as you need to. That's worked for me so far. I still get them at the idea of riding twisties I don't know. Also, down hill can be freaky too. It passes with time though. Good luck, it's awesome seeing your progress.
ReplyDelete@James: Practicing in the streets is lots harder than riding around the parking lot in the MSF course for sure! Thanks for sharing your learning experiences with me.
ReplyDelete@Orion: Hooray you're here! It's nice to know that "real riders" get the jitters too. Thanks for the tip!
Woohoo Liezl! It takes a lot of guts to pick up something like riding, and I think it's good that you are taking your time when you're not ready. Don't beat yourself up too much--you'll get there!
ReplyDeleteBtw we should hang out soon! I'll be back in SF tomorrow!