I F***ING DID IT!!!

I don't say curse words usually, but this is so how I felt today.  Here's some backstory...

It's been 2 months since I took the MSF class and let's just say that I drove around on the bike a few days ago going 10mph, and I felt really awkward and nervous on it.  I barely practice.  I've practiced maybe 6 times since the course.  Why so few you ask?  Wellllll, here are my excuses:

1.  It's raining

2.  I have more important things to do

3.  The bike is in the shop (this one is legit!)

4.  My BF, the owner of the bike, isn't available

5.  It's too late in the day

6.  I was on vacation

Yes, they are just excuses.  Here are the real reasons I avoid practicing:

1.  I feel uncomfortable on the bike, and I REALLY don't like that feeling

2.  I'm scared

3.  I'm lazy

4.  It's been so long since my last practice, I'm losing motivation

I felt like I made major progress with getting my licence and learning the skills from the class, but I took major steps backwards from not practicing after.  Almost every time I practiced, it was like starting over.  Lots of deep breathing and self-talk to try to build my confidence again.  Anyone else have a similar experience?

As you can tell from the title of this post, I became re-inspired.  I had a secret weapon!  I've been wanting to watch One Week (trailer), a motorcycle movie with neat-o scenes, but was saving it to excite me before I went on a riding road trip.  However, this was an emergency!  I was losing motivation for something I had worked so damn hard for!  I watched the movie, and just as I had hoped for, the movie reminded me of that feeling I craved from riding a bike:  liberation.  "Man that looks refreshing!" kind of feel.  So did that movie make me want to practice all week?  Hell no.  I was still anxious.  However, that movie did get me to at least have thoughts of riding in the back of my head.  After a few weeks of ignoring my blog, I decided to write again.  I suppose a combination of it all got me itching to ride again.

Joshua Jackson is such a cutie!  Not like that Pacey guy from Dawson's Creek.

While my BF was away for the week in Hawaii, I borrowed his bike to practice on.  I was so damn determined to wake up at 7am on a Saturday morning and ride in his neighborhood.  Did I actually wake up?  You bet your ass I did!  I sat on the bike, started Roxy up, and then holy shit I got nervous!  It was probably 2 weeks ago that I last sat on her.  I didn't have the confidence to ride in the neighborhood at all.  Instead I rode in his parking lot a couple of times.  I wouldn't call it a fail, but a "dammit..."

That "dammit" made me determined to return to the my usual spot to work on my skillz!  3 days later, I go back to Shoreline Amphitheater and start riding in circles.  "Hey this feels pretty good today."  I bust out the cones and practice swerving.  "Hmmm...I wanna do more!  I'm going to try to go to the street!"  I mapped out my route in my head and went towards the road.  First up, stop sign.  Okay made it and didn't stall when I turned left.  Next, a stop light.  "Holy crap!!!"  I was able to switch to the right gear and slowly come to a steady stop, even letting my left foot down first.  Green light GO!  "Yikes!!!"  Across the way, there was a car waiting for me to go before it took its turn.  "Ahhh stop distracting me!!!"  I slowly let out the clutch, rolled on the throttle, switched to 2nd gear, and the engine started revving without any acceleration.  "Oh shit!"  Realizing I was still squeezing the clutch from switching gears, I released it and crossed the intersection.  I felt an amazing rush.  I drove faster, moving up to 25mph.  Felt like 65.  Slowed as I came to an upcoming stop sign.  Turned around and went back.  On the straightaway, went up to 30.  Fuck that was exhilarating!!!  Crossed the stop light again with no problems.  Made it to the parking lot.  Shrieking with joy, "OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWESOME!!!" as I celebrated with James.  He kissed my helmet and I was ready to go again!

The second time around wasn't as smooth.  A car was driving behind me and I couldn't help but stare at it in my mirror.  "Hey stop that!  Look forward dammit!"  I cross the light, that car was still behind me.  Stupid nerves.  I try to stay above 25mph.  Come to the stop sign.  Car still behind me.  Let out the clutch.  Bike dies.  FUCK!  Let it out too fast.  Restart the bike and move forward.  Randomly ride in some parking lot while I recollect myself.  "You can do it."  I head back to Shoreline with no problems.  Still feeling that original rush, I decided to call it a day.  I wanted to end on a high note.  BF and I decided to celebrate my success my favorite way:  food!

Korean food!

God it was a good day.  Hope I can keep this up.  Feeling really motivated now!  Too bad it supposed to rain all week...